


To know who you are

by Rogercat



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Family Bonding, Family Secrets, Gen, Gender Issues, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Other, Sister-Sister Relationship, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 00:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19140190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogercat/pseuds/Rogercat
Summary: Narvi's youngest sibling Loki have a secret to the family





	To know who you are

Year 780 in the Second Age, in the Orocarni mountains: 

 

The adults in the Asar family had not been blind to the behavior the youngest member of the family showed at times. At first, it could be viewed as simply that Loki idolized Narvi in the way younger siblings sometimes did, especially as Odin saw himself as too mature to spend time with the family baby. 

 

“Just because both Narvi and Loki was surprise pregnancies long after himself, it does not mean that that he can act in that manner towards his younger siblings. Making Loki cry is not acceptable,” Ala muttered, keeping herself busy with some embroidery while her mother-in-law Frigga was making dinner. 

 

“Yes, I think that Loki is more sensitive. At the same time...it is more feminine behavior, than just copying Narvi, I think.” 

 

Being the oldest person in the household, Frigga had seen a lot of things over the years and could see that there was something different about her youngest grandchild. 

 

~X~X~X~X~X~X

 

Narvi was looking through her wardrobe, to see if anything needed to be mended or replaced for some reason, when she noticed something odd: 

 

“The old chest with the clothes from my first twenty years of life, is gone?” 

 

Now, she did not think that they had been stolen. It could be that her mother or grandmother had taken them out to air out and keep them in good condition when she was in the bathing chamber to wash off her hair and beard after a especially dusty day in her job as a stonemason. 

 

“Grandma, did you take out my childhood clothes for airing earlier?” she asked as Frigga passed by with a basket of clean laundry. 

“No, I did not. But maybe Loki did.”

 

It was when she turned around, as Narvi realized something else. A few items from her make-up seemed to have gone missing as well. 

  
  


Frigga walked over with the basket to the chamber of her youngest grandchild. Loki was smaller in growth for that small group of dwarflings born ten years ago and rarely needed the clothing to be mended, thankfully.

 

“Loki, I have your cleaned clothes here….oh?” 

 

For a moment, she could have mistaken Loki for a much younger Narvi, at least from behind since Loki had inherited the black eyes of Ala and Narvi the green eyes of their grandmother, while sharing a similar skin colour and white-blonde hair. 

 

“Grandma...you saw…?” Loki asked, looking terrified at someone actually finding out about the dress borrowed from the missing chest from Narvi's chamber.

 

“Sweetie, it is nothing wrong with borrowing your sister's old clothes, but you should ask for permission first…”   

 

Frigga did not manage to say more, for now Loki started to cry in her arms, blabbing discontinuously about having tested Narvi's makeup before when none of the adults had seen it and how he was not really feeling like a male Dwarf at all, but rather a Dwarrowdam. 

 

Ala had been following her mother-in-law and happened to overhear what her youngest child said. While she was a little surprised at the moment, Loki feeling more like a Dwarrowdam explained a lot. 

 

“Dearie, you should have told us about it instead of keeping it all for yourself. It is no shame of that you feel like the opposite gender. Shall we tell the rest of the family about this, so they will also know how to treat you right? I think your sister and Adad will be happy to know, at least.”

 

Loki still cried over what she said, but now it was tears of relief and joy instead.

 

~X~X~X~X~X~X

 

Later that evening, Balder had met up with a few old friend at the local pub for some drinks. 

 

“So, your youngest seems to the soul of a Dwarrowdam in a male body?”

 

Balder already had a answer to that: 

 

“Yes. Confessed to us all today after a crying fit with my mother, fearing that we would see it the wrong way. Not that I half suspected it before, there was something different in the way Loki acts and Odin in the same age.” 

 

“Poor kid. Your oldest must have been disappointed, it seems like he have been walking around and almost bragging about one day training his little brother to be a mighty warrior.” 

 

The patriarch of the Asar family frowned at hearing that.

 

“Loki shows promise in baking at home with her Amad and grandmother, so I will see if we can make a apprenticeship with one of the local bakeries for her when she is older. Narvi was happy over the confession, for she spent the whole afternoon playing dress up with her little sister.”  

 

“Do not forget to change her birth register to her preferred gender, too. A distant cousin of mine was very cross with her relatives over that they failed to do that and the first meeting at the matchmaker went...poorly over that, as she was presented as a male Dwarf without being allowed to dress in feminine clothing.” 

 

Balder made a face at hearing about that. Crossdressing was something to be expected as children tried to figure out themselves while growing up to adult Dwarves, but Mahal help those fools who gave poor treatment to those who identified as a different gender than the one they was born. With how rare Dwarrowdams was born, it was sometimes said that people like his little Loki was originally meant to be born female, but that the soul ended up in a male body by mistake in the moment of conception.   

 

“I was already at the town register this evening and had it fixed. Loki will get her new birth register tomorrow as a gift for being brave enough to come out with the truth about which gender she identifies as.”

 

Ala had already began to create new dresses that would be only Loki's instead of having to borrow Narvi's old ones. Given that Narvi preferred green and Loki loved blue, it would not be any problems to keep their dresses apart as adults once both sisters had came of age.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Loki is a transwoman, with a modern word. I imagine that she and her fellow transwomen are called "Soul of a Dwarrowdam in a male body" for a term that could fit into Tolkien's world and the Dwarven race


End file.
